Last week Lois had a really good game. What we parents expected this week is something similar, even not as good a game. However, what we see in front of our eyes is something below the par, no effort shown, a game that is totally crap in a coach's eye.
Every time when the other teams shoots, Lois stays at the perimeter looking forward to a pass. She never try to run into the restricted area and for a rebound. She is in an "audience mode" that she only use her eyes to defence. As a coach father, I tried to remind her by yelling to an extend that the other parents thinks that I am really disturbing them. The result is in vain. My daughter just didn't listen. She may have hustled like 5% more but most of the time she is in the "audience mode".
When we got back home I started the "interrogation". She denied her playing without effort. I asked the why and she just gave me "I am sorry." but didn't tell me the real reason. I thought may be she is panic during the game that have affected her performance. I tried to find an excuse for her but my natural coach instinct don't feel right. She was not doing what she should do or was doing last week even after I reminded her repeatedly.
What added to my anger was she was not willing to do the dribbling cycles that she did regularly. I asked her why and she told me it was cold outside. I never force her to do anything if she was not willing to do as I believe this doesn't help. Hence, she was playing badly during games and not doing the drills that she regularly did.
My disappointment and frustration escalated and I felt that my whole weekend was bad just because of my daughter's response. My faith in my daughter's ability and her virtues were all gone. I tried not to throw my temper to her by avoiding contact with my daughter. I gave her cold shoulder to her requests. I tried to forget and find excuses for her poor performance. I told myself things like, "She is still young and is 7 years old. Maybe girls at this age are like that?"
As a coach and a basketball player, I learnt that if you have a bad game you need more practice. I expected my daughter to be the same. It definitely is not her philosophy. I asked myself what have I done wrong?
I wake up this morning trying to tell myself just forget about it and maybe the next day my GOOD girl will be "BACK". However, when my daughter came to me I asked the same question again, "why you plays like that?"
I replayed the game video to her and asked her what she was thinking by standing in the perimeter whereas all others was doing defence and hustling for a defensive rebound. She said she didn't know why. I said if you didn't know why you keep running around the perimeter! You should have just stood still but you were running around the perimeter. I asked if she was there hoping someone would rebound the ball and pass to her so she can score.
She said, "Yes."
Eventually I understood why she didn't play as hard. It is because she thought she was good and she just needn't play as hard as others. This is arrogance.
Kids do not need to learn to become arrogant. There is something inside their brain that breeds arrogance.
This little gift was given by my girl.